how could i have done better this morning?
i'm not sure why he was so tired. he slept almost 12 hours last night. but only one nap yesterday. he wanted to just nurse and nurse and stay in bed, relax into the day as we'd done the last 3 days. but today is a school day. of course he does not understand. i have no way to tell him. at least not in any way that will matter to a 13 month old. what could i do?
the last couple days it really worked to put him in the sling when he was fussy, so he could be part of what i was doing. that may have worked. i am loathe to do that school-day mornings because it slows me down. especially on days like today - i was 20 minutes late for class.
speaking of class, i'm not liking this class. even now that its better than i thought it was going to be, i don't like it. the focus on discrimination, while it points out past wrongs, seems to me really negative. why don't we focus on what's valuable about women and minority groups and how to share that with our students? i've been infected by unschooling. the whole world looks different to me now.
speaking of which... we have an interview tomorrow evening @ Anodyne on Brady with a couple and their first child Ian who is 6 weeks old. she works for the city in historic preservation (i think)/renovation?, just two days a week. how lucky! and she's able to choose her days. oh how cool and perfect. they also have a big old dog. they're not sure about dogs and little ones (who is?), but she likes their 7 year old downstairs neighbor boy. we can handle that. Ian is a little collicky, she says, but loves to be worn. perfect. i think ne is ready for me to have another baby. i guess, i can really see how it would work at this point, moreso than any other time previous. having james at daycare i'm sure has helped. its really funny - he's got this glo-worm that he was never interested in before, but he's now decided that its the baby. he brings it over to me to cradle and care for. i show him how to be "nice" and he pets "the baby". its so cute. newborns do require a good deal of care and attention, but i think that combination works really wonderfully, that he can be a 'big brother'. and for me, i get to have itty baby around without having to go through being preggers, get to re-test everything i've done thus far with Rene, no skipping ahead to places I haven't been yet. i had a great phone conversation with her yesterday, so i'm really hopeful. . . she asked what my vision/plan was. totally honest, i'm free-falling right now, took a leap and checking the air for what wind will catch me. i know i'm headed to this unschooling/AP based daycare, to living with my child/with children. i don't know quite how i'm getting there, but nannying would be perfect - i also get the advantage of sending the child home - and looking into the cleaning business for side jobs. i know that i gave up my 40 hr/week lifestyle and i'm really enjoying it. i don't want to go back. . well, i hope i answered right. what i can say is that i'm a singing, dancing, whole foods-ing, trying to be the best mom/caregiver i can be-ing. i am always learning - which i why i belong to so damn many yahoo groups now...
fingers crossed.
not sure how i could have done better this morning. it was rough. some days are like that. you can't be happy all the time.